You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
We need a shit load of segways right now
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
