she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
