He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
