It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
there's paper in my vomit.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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