My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
