All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize