Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
