my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
