Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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