apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize