The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
