Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
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