i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
