420 ftw
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
