I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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