Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
