I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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