There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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