just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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