can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
