If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize