its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
