Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
