So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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