Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
