He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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