we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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