saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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