Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize