Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Edward fifth and chaser hands
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
