I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just gift wrapped bread.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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