oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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