idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
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