We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
