I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
