you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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