One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
What drink are we having for lunch?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
