we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
