That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
