I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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