Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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