Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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