You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
