So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
