Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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