If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
