Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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