I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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