I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
high people should be assigned attendants
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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