Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
