i permit you to call me
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
