i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
