thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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