I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
why is half of my head shaved?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
