I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize