careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
