gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We left the knife in your bed.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
