Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
