I want you more than these girls want KFC
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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