Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
