Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
