What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
We are two peas in an std pod
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
