Dual....:-)
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
