we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
