Nicole vs. Life
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
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