If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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