I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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