just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
