there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
