That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
