grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
