I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I have demons in me.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
