Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
