Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
