I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
