Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I met the friendliest cop last night
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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