He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
