Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
This is classic penis vs brain.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
