Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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