I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
