I want to walk on stilts...naked
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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