He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize