I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
