he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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